"Let's get going" said Viji, one of the girls from the group. "It's getting late."
"But our order didn't arrive yet. You people leave, we will eat and come." said Manav. And as the group left we both had our dinner quietly and got up to leave. On the way, Manav and I started talking about a matter that has been bugging me for a couple of months now. What exactly is giving space? And the way he explained it, I felt like I did all of these things for my Ex. It's not like I didn't know what giving space meant, I just wanted to know this from another person's point of view or frankly from a guy's point of view so that I know if I am thinking right.
Yes, I am a bold, independent girl who couldn't stand up for herself even once in a two year secret relationship because she was afraid her boyfriend might leave her or that she might get physically injured by his anger. I was always warned by my friends that he was not right for me or for any other girl. But, I never listened. I was too much into him and that was taken as a vulnerability by him. The first 6 months might have been great but after a year and half of nothing but sadness, crying and pleadings,I decided to call quits on the relationship. My eyes finally opened up to the reality of the person and the message clearly ringed in my head that he will never change and that I shouldn't be the only person trying to work on the relationship while he tries flirting with other girls ignoring me and just keeps on telling me to give him "space" and not "smother" him.
And when Manav asked me why I wanted to know about this particularly, I just nodded and said out of curiosity. After a good talk, his friends called him if he wanted to hang out. He invited me but I was in a dilemma between sleep and friends. I chose the latter one. We joined the group again in their apartment which frankly was not very far from mine. We all played little games, I got to hear a lot of their stories and finally bidding goodbye I left. After that a few days wizzed past us and most of the times I found myself hanging out with this group and getting to know them very well.. slightly even understanding their language and without knowing I became a part of the group. I was happy that I found my set of people. Everyday as I left for my house, Manav always accompanied me till my gate and then left for his house which was on the other end of our hangout spot. As this became a routine, I started feeling uneasy about the fact that I may be getting too close to him or that he is interested in me. Slowly, I started making sure we were hanging out with at least 1 or more people when I was with Manav.
1 week before the trip, it was all about packing, planning and a lot of excitement. Just 4 days before the trip we all went out for dinner, while coming back from the restaurant some of us got ahead and me and Manav were slowly walking in the back discussing about how many places we have traveled to so far.
Suddenly he turned towards me and asked "What do you think is going on between us?"
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