Buddy! I am great.

RED ALERT! And not just because something uneasy for me came up but because I think my face was turning red.

Did he ask me something? Did I hear it right? Oh God! What do I do? What do I do? And in that split second I did the lamest thing anyone would and maybe could never do.

"Haha.. nothing is happening! Why? I am perfectly fine."

"Oh! You sure?"

"Yes.. dude! Buddy! I am great. What about you?"

"Okay. If you say so. I am great too."

Wow! That was a close call. I definitely think he is interested in me. But why? I never gave him any ideas. oh! It's all my fault. I should have told him earlier when I started getting the idea that maybe he likes me that I am not looking for any relationship right now. I am not sure if I am over my past relationship yet. Though I would barely call it a relationship. Is it okay if I just jump into another relationship without thinking right now? I don't think I am ready for this. What if he turns out to be like my Ex. I can't put myself through that again. But he is so sweet and caring. But so was my Ex at first. I will never forgive myself if I put myself through all of that again. So, we walked silently till we reached my home and he just smiled, bid good bye and left. Did I break his heart? He seemed fine. May be after this issue cools down I will let him down gently. Those few days before our trip were the worst. Even though he was perfectly normal just like always, I was just beating myself up from the inside. I wanted to ask him what the hell is going on? At the same time I didn't want to talk about this and bring up the matter again.

But then I started thinking, I have rejected my fair share of guys and I never felt this way. He seems fine but why the hell is this bothering me so much that he might not be interested in me anymore? Why do I want him to like me? Maybe I like him too. Is this a risk I am willing to take? And that question cleared everything up because I came up with an idea. If he shows any interest in me again I think I will give it a shot. But, let him try first.. I am not gonna make any move. And thus the waiting began. On the day of the trip, everyone was ready, excited and packed. We went to take the car we were all gonna travel in and took our seats. Me and Manav sat in the back with another two people. We put on music, passed each other some snacks and had a great journey. Manav started telling me stories about the adventures he had during his trips and suddenly he held my hand. And the interesting thing was, I did not resist it. I enjoyed all his stories, we kept smiling and talking and none of us tried to let go of the each other's hand throughout the entire journey.